Hi, hey, yo be all.

I know you all had a wonderful summer/autumn/fall/winter break and it's time again to reflect on why we're here...

Not the existential here (you're here for whatever reason, I get it), but the 'you're meant to be elsewhere, with other things' here. Why you've landed on this particular server hosting this page, on your computer while you have a really hot drink in hand.

Like tea. Or coffee... Actually, probably not both (because for your information, the combo is downright disgusting... without sugar).

Anyway, posting like this is almost like a luxury now. I don't always get the time to do it, and when I do it, I go overboard on the whole SS Keep a Blog Up To Date ship.

"This isn't even well edited!" - And what blog is? Rephrase that, what amateur, no particular focus, random thoughts blog is?

That's right.

Before it gets too out of hand, I should say I feel like discussing two things.

First of all, how the little voices within your head are completely oblivious and are probably not the best sources of self-growth, and the title point: Why I think that procrastination, like onions, ogres, cakes and parfaits, has layers.


Now the mentally stable lot of those lurking around this page have probably no idea of what the tiny, supposedly 'self-aware' voices are in your conscious mind, but I think I have a good example:

Imagine for a second (figuratively, not literally a second), that you are suddenly endowed with a set of young children who share your current knowledge and senses. And above all, the defining characteristic about each of them is that they all find the absolute best ways to distract you or annoy you to extremes. They are free to disappear when they please, and appear just as comfortably.

Now picture one that isn't too keen on being socially active. Or maybe they are, but they don't really understand some of the subtleties of it all. In some situations such as sitting at a cafe, happily sipping your morning latte/tea, this little one will be incredibly talkative.

It brings such insightful thoughts such as, "Oh, I wonder how that couple over there manages to stay together after one of them is kind of embarassing the other in public," and, "How does [insert male group] stay in contact with [insert female group]?"

I often feel like I'm parenting a small child of a million questions, without one actually being physically present. So you get all the mental exercise of countless questions being asked without the benefits of physical company.

It's impossible to answer this voice and all of its queries, so often the better tactic is just to ignore it and go on with your daily life.

With that said, it's not much of a source of learning either. While it questions everything and anything to do with social interactions, it doesn't seem to learn how to learn the very things it is curious about.
It's repetitive with some of the questions it raises, though it does not evolve or change when it does get answered.

Therefore, since growing up and developing your inner self relies on change over time, one of the worst sources of evolutionary advice you could have is that little, socially awkward voice.
It's like a 'broken record', if records were still used in this day and age.
And as we know in this ever changing society, if you don't evolve, you get left behind.


Main topic: Procrastination has layers...

It's probably no big secret that I have a problem with procrastination. Not that I do it because I like doing it, or that it makes it seem like I have eternal holidays (I really don't), but that it's the one thing left in the day that complements how ever many tangents I would usually go on. (For any new readers, a good measure of the tangents would be the intro to this post).

Though, procrastination in itself, I would define as 'the art of delaying things and/or wasting time'.
It really is an art form in a way. A way of expressing how much you really don't want to do something.

I know there's a saying where (heavily paraphrased), 'if you learn things, it's not wasting time', but what if you're wasting time for the sake of wasting time?

Think of some scenarios where you're bored of your original task, so you fire up YouTube, social media and or reddit, then comes time where you go on a few clicking sprees (Wikipedia, and other link heavy article based sites, I'm looking at you), and then you're back at where you started your loop.

Here's the pivotal point: Do you continue looking for further procrastination, or do you get bored of what you're doing and go back to doing work?

Or maybe, you're browsing the internet (procrastinating), and decide to play a game of some sorts (procrastinating from procrastinating). Do you end up playing that game (making a procrastination layer/stack), or do you procrastinate playing it by doing your original procrastination?

If that example didn't already confuse you, then I'm sure it's happened to you as well.

Yes, there is a logical fallacy there, because I did define procrastination as 'delaying things... or wasting time', which meant that regardless of what task you're doing, if it's not your original task, then you're still wasting time all the same (so only one level of procrastination). But my theory is that your focus on one particular thing at a time (sorry multi-taskers) counts as a task, whether it is work or procrastination.

Whenever you delay something you are currently focusing on, you are creating another level of procrastination. You also cannot jump between procrastination states, because then you create more levels (messing up the order is so not worth it, you just get lost).

The easiest solution to stop these layers is just to destroy all procrastination layers by doing work, or having something/someone stop you when you get to too many layers.


Phew!

On a lighter note, procrastination is contagious with the right people.

Because if you're going to waste time and have fun, why not share that with people?

Peace to the world (no fly on... grr),

Razor Blayde.


 

School, work,
There are various worlds in each of those lives
And there are definitely good waves as well as bad waves.
But, in the end, how well you ride that wave is what you're able to decide for yourself.

No matter what kind of sadness happens today,
You can make your own HAPPINESS tomorrow.
It makes no difference in the number of tears,

The amount of happiness is up to you.

-Rina Suzuki (Translated courtesy of SCANDAL-Heaven)

I've been thinking. Thoughts have been coming to mind, and trying to bubble their way up to my consciousness. 

Thoughts such as how to get yourself from A to B, how to motivate yourself to get up and improve from where you stand now, all of these 'life-improving' motivational things. 

A lot of these thoughts can be quite absorbing, and often just thinking about how it affects only you can leave you a little worse for wear. The way I see it, most of those thoughts are just beginnings of some positive movement and inspiration to others and yourself.

It'll start as an ember, then gain more and more fuel until it blazes brightly for all those surrounding it to see.

As the quote says above, whether it be inspiration or happiness that you choose to radiate from your life, it's entirely up to you to make it happen, and it all depends on the decisions you make. Not just for today, but for tomorrow as well.


What also comes into play is what sort of person you show to others. Are you the one who will take the time to open the door for complete strangers? Would you shrug off a donation stand because you didn't feel like approaching them? Do you hide your innermost doubts in order to fit in with your circles?

Or do you override all your fears and stand tall for others to take an example of you?

Whatever you choose to be can even be a mix of some of the qualities that were mentioned, or be entirely different after all.


I guess the important thing is that what you show to people is your truth.

It's a difficult word, that 'truth'.


Sometimes we hide it to protect the ones we care about. Sometimes we fear revealing it would alienate ourselves from those we wish to reach out to.
But what it actually stands for should never be hidden from view.

At least, to make things right anyway.


The first part of your truth is the literal meaning, that is the sometimes raw and unadulterated meaning/tone/feelings/messages/facts/expressions of life.

The second part is the values that you live by, and the things that guide you to make your every day choices. 


Now, there may be more parts to this than meets the eye, but for now, I think those two are the major parts. 

Showing your truth can be risky, even frightening. By the way I'm phrasing this, I'm sure it sounds a lot more juvenile than I seem to intend, but the meaning is different, of course. 

Now in the course of Over Thinking, I seem to be the Dean of it (I could probably write a thesis with the amount of thinking that goes on). Therefore, I can definitely recommend that you disregard most of what is unclear in those above paragraphs, because that was probably one thread that might not have needed to be said. 

In any case, "things have changed".

The first semester of University life is ending for me and honestly, I can see a brighter future in the midst. Not just because every day and everyone inspires me that what I can do isn't so scary any more, but because I'm thinking a little more healthy every day as well.

It feels like a really good thing, and sure, it may have its rocky moments, though I'm confident that I can continue to improve living and appreciating life as it is.

And yo, I'm still going to finish that Left 4 Dead project, don't you worry.

I've been learning to drive, thanks to friends who believe that I can, and definitely should.

And also it's a little far off now, but my birthday will be soon, in around two months.
I sure will get just a bit crazy and silly: I know that for sure.

Feeling on track is great. ^O^

Peace,

Atamarashi.